OMG – in the Can-This-Crap-Fly-Any-Faster/Farther? category, we have:
President Obama’s Agriculture Department today announced that it will impose a new 15-cent charge on all fresh Christmas trees — the Christmas Tree Tax — to support a new Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees.
Who asked for this?
Who wants it?
Who thinks it’s a good idea?
* … crickets chirping … *
Christmas trees need a New Image?!?!?!?!?!?????!
Acting Administrator of Agricultural Marketing David R. Shipman announced that the Secretary of Agriculture will appoint a Christmas Tree Promotion Board.
In case you think they have nothing to do…..
The purpose of the Board is to run a “program of promotion, research, evaluation, and information designed to strengthen the Christmas tree industry’s position in the marketplace; maintain and expend existing markets for Christmas trees; and to carry out programs, plans, and projects designed to provide maximum benefits to the Christmas tree industry”
[ Expend: 1. To lay out; spend: “expending tax revenues on government operations.” 2. To use up; consume: “Every effort seemed to expend her spirit’s force.”
Could they possibly have meant “expand” existing markets…?!?
I cannot find the original government source for this (7 CFR 1214.46(n)), but every source I have checked has used the same wording. Are our public representatives so clueless that they can let a functional mistake like this, one that changes the meaning of the regulation, pass by unnoticed…?
Well, moving on….]
Now, in all honesty, this is to combat the ingress of plastic Christmas trees into the marketplace….. which have been around for fifty years. If a market for fresh trees still exists, I’d say they’re doing pretty well WITHOUT government intervention.
So why, really, is this Administration creating a new government program to do what doesn’t need to be done in the first place?
Um…. because That’s. What. They. DO.
That’s how they’ve spent multiple trillions of dollars we don’t even have in three short years.
Can we afford Four. More. Years……!?!
But wait! There’s this little nugget:
A 12-member board will direct the money to generic ads and other promotions, as well as research.
Research on how to make live trees as convenient and safe as plastic trees? The research has already been done, courtesy of MythBusters. NO amount of lights on a (previously-!) live tree will cause it to go up in flames…..!
After rigging a tinder-dry Christmas tree with hundreds of Christmas lights (using more power than an entire house normally would) and waiting for at least 40 minutes, the MythBusters were unable to get the tree to ignite by itself.
UPDATE: the proposed regulation has been postponed….. for now.
Wonder when (not if) it’ll be re-introduced…..?